I've just had an accident that made my heart stopped a bit. The app on my iPhone where I used to jot down ideas suddenly keep closing itself once it's opened. I was like, no this can't be happening… what about my thoughts, quotes, words that I typed down? They are important, even for an unpublished writer like me. It's like when a designer lost his/her sketchbook, or a photographer lost his/her memory card full of pictures, or a musician lost his/her music sheets. The app is still not working now and I'm terrified by the idea of losing all my writings there, but I'm also still hoping somebody from the developer can help me retrieve my data. Hopefully.
Counting down the days to the day when I was about to head back home was not a good feeling. I was haunted by many things such as physical work (sorting, packing, shipping) and the emotional roller coaster leaving the place I truly love, the place I'd say is my sanctuary. London is my sanctuary.
I had to throw away many stuff of mine when sorting them out because obviously I cannot bring everything home, even then I thought I should've thrown more stuff. But since I am a hoarder, throwing my belongings away is very hard because I get attached to them. Things that have served me for maybe one, two, or even four years straight. So to just abandon them, it was just terrible. Just like leaving London, where a big mark had been signed across my heart since Day 1 I stepped into that city to study.
Shirt - Cotton Ink
Blazer & coat - Zara
Necklace - From Singapore
Trousers - Major Minor
Socks - Sox Galeri
Shoes - ASOS
Bag - Cupcake
Bracelet - New Look
Photographed by Fitria Tjandra
Speaking of throwing stuff away, I had to throw this bag away too because the both sides of the bottom bit were ripped without me noticing at first. I was heart broken because this bag was love at first sight (as well as my other Cupcake bags). I thought I could fix it if I bring it home, but maybe it was a sign that I shouldn't bring everything that I want or else my shipping boxes can accumulate to 20. So, farewell not only to my Converse, but also my favourite backpack :(
Fitria used her analog camera to take these photographs of me. I couldn't love it more. The natural effects from the film such as the green light, waves, and the vintage feel made up the ambiance straight away. I didn't need to pose much for this and the results made it look like they're all natural, as if she was taking the behind-the-scenes of the photo shoot we did before (previous posts).
Bear with me. Lately I found there are some posts that needs to be divided into two due to the quantities of photographs, but this time instead of two, I have three versions of the same outfit. My photographer friend was trying different techniques last time so I just went along with her plan. After all, who was I to refuse? ;)
The sound I hear inside my head every second, minute, or hour of every day, it's mine. I have the power of my own happiness, or at least that's what I've heard. I read so many quotes about mind over matters; nobody can bring you down unless you say otherwise, you are what you think, or how your actions come from within your souls. They might be the most cliché quotes, but it is true. Most of the time I over think of what ifs and what will, then when I got too deep I realised I have just wasted my time to stress myself out over unnecessary thoughts. It hit me for a reason or another that I am my greatest enemy.